Understanding the Creation, Complications, and Management of Compulsive Surges

The purpose of this short explanation is threefold: (1) to better understand the neuroscience of how compulsions and addictions are created; (2) to conceptualize the complications, chaos, and damage that is caused when a brain is over-stimulated; and (3) to explain a powerful skill that can be used to manage (or surf) sexual surges, rather than fight them. This information is not only relevant to sexual issues, but also applicable to understanding many different types of substance, gambling, and eating addictions.

A Two-Part Brain

Two specific parts of the brain correlate with the creation of most compulsions and addictions: the prefrontal cortex and the limbic system. The prefrontal cortex is located just inside the forehead. It is the source of what we call the “higher functioning” processes: moral reasoning, rational thoughts, logical thinking, mathematical skills, values of right and wrong, caring about relationships, guilt, remorse, and consequences. The limbic system, located in the center of the head, has the primary objective of keeping us alive. It is the source of survival instincts and our innate desire to procreate.

A distinguishing difference between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex is that the limbic system does its job by means of feelings, emotions, and instincts; it does not have the capacity to think. Because the limbic system does not “think” (like the prefrontal cortex), there is no shame, no guilt, no morals, and no values associated with it. Because the limbic system is void of any moral reasoning or thinking, we could say that it is not “immoral,” rather “a-moral.” Some research suggests that 90% to 95% of our behavior is prompted by this subconscious region of the brain. In other words, much behavior is driven by subconscious limbic emotions that, like an iceberg, are predominately underwater or subconscious.

These two parts of our brain work in concert with each other. The balance between these two regions has an immense impact on the quality of life. The tug-of-war sometimes felt between what we think is right (pulling in one direction) and what we feel like doing (pulling in a different direction), is a battle between the prefrontal cortex and the subconscious limbic part of the brain. Our thoughts (originating from the prefrontal cortex) are usually easy to identify. However, it is often more difficult to determine the exact origin of those very strong but subconscious limbic emotional surges.

Prefrontal Hijack

Any stress or painful feeling activates the limbic alarm system. If the stress escalates and becomes severe enough, the limbic system shuts down prefrontal functioning, creating a scenario that makes the “survival need” an absolute priority. For example, if somebody is holding your head underwater (to drown you), the limbic alarm will activate and immediately shut down prefrontal functioning. When this happens, moral reasoning disappears, and that breath of air becomes an absolute priority. In that moment, you are not worried about what you’re going to eat for lunch, or if you will be late for work. This is often referred to as a “fight or flight” reaction. Your only focus, in that moment, is your desperate need for air. If you had a knife in your hand, would you stab the guy? With prefrontal functions shut down, most people do whatever is necessary to get that life-saving breath of air.

How Addictions Are Created

In the brain there are several million receptor/receiver connections, each with a “synapse” or synaptic gap. Communication through this synapse is facilitated by “neurotransmitters” or “neurochemicals.” Two chemicals associated with most addictions are dopamine and glutamate. Dopamine is the pleasure chemical. Glutamate is the memory chemical. Dopamine helps facilitate a feeling of pleasure on a trip to Disneyland. Glutamate creates a memory that Disneyland was a source of pleasure. When we eat something delicious, dopamine gives us a feeling of satisfaction. Glutamate reminds us about the source of that satisfaction. Functionally, these two chemicals work hand-in-hand and play an important role in creating passion and motivation to work hard, study diligently, and stick with a task. As long as these neurochemicals are dispersed in appropriate amounts, dopamine helps us feel content, happy, and satisfied. Glutamate reminds us about the source of that satisfying feeling.

However, if the limbic system is consistently over-stimulated or slammed with excessive amounts of these chemicals, a switch is created in the limbic priority system. Cocaine, heroin, nicotine, methamphetamines, and pornography can convey this overstimulation. When this switch in the limbic system happens, the need for stimulation can become more important than our need for survival, and the result of this switch is a compulsion or addiction. Consequently, the need for stimulation is felt as urgently and intensely as if you have gone without water for 3 days, or without food for 2 weeks. In response to these intense feelings and as an attempt to “get what the limbic system feels like you need,” the limbic system shuts down prefrontal functioning, and creates a “one man tug-of-war” with the limbic system pulling in one direction, and no prefrontal pull in the opposite direction.

What does addictive behavior look like? A hungry old man walks into a grocery store with just enough money to purchase food to keep him alive. However, after noticing the cigarettes behind the counter, he buys cigarettes with what little money he has, rather than the food he needs to keep him alive. Why? Because the need for the nicotine stimulation has become more important than survival. A group of men huddle around a little tin-can fire late at night in 12-degree weather, waiting for the arrival of their preferred drug. Why? Because the anticipated drug stimulation is more important than being in a warm house with their family. An elderly widow in a gambling casino is wasting away her life savings. Why? Because the stimulating anticipation of money in her lap feels (at the moment) more important than her savings account. Additionally, the alcohol she may have been drinking and the late-night hour has minimized prefrontal functionality. She will likely feel terrible tomorrow, but in that moment, the stimulation she seeks is more important than anything else.

In summary, we create addictions by over-stimulating (or flash flooding) our limbic system with dopamine and glutamate. The overstimulation creates a switch in the limbic priority system. When stimulation becomes more important than survival, we have a compulsion or addiction.

Other Complications From Over-Stimulating the Limbic System

We have received many warnings about the dangers of looking at pornography. Here are some other consequences of over-stimulating our brains. These complicating effects can happen with each and every flash flood:

Prefrontal functions are hijacked, creating the scenario of a one-man tug-of-war. The limbic system is pulling one direction with no resistance pulling in the opposite (moral reasoning) direction.
Stimulation becomes as important as survival.
It raises the pleasure thermostat and creates a greater disparity between current behavior and our ability to feel pleasure. The higher the pleasure thermostat (or hedonic set point), the more difficult it is to feel happiness. This often creates depression.
It damages neuropathways, creating a condition that fits the medical model for a brain disease.
It damages relationships. The shame and guilt associated with flash flooding our brain will often sever the closeness and connection we feel with others. This disconnect is counterproductive to human happiness.
The event is deeply embedded in our memory.

Fighting the Limbic System: A Futile Fight

When we get “pounced on” by a compulsive or addictive surge, we will instinctively clench our fists, grit our teeth, and desperately try to show our valor by fighting the cravings and urges. Fighting the limbic system (because of its pervasively persistent power) is like getting into a limbic boxing ring with Mike Tyson. He will beat our face in and bite our ear off, but we will not win the boxing match. Fighting the limbic system is like fighting a limbic enemy army on a bicycle with nothing more than a squirt gun. Furthermore, the limbic fight could be compared to maintaining a fighting stance with a wave. The first few waves on a hot summer day might feel good, but the waves come at us every 20 seconds, all day and all night. Eventually, if we maintain a fighting stance, the waves will wear us out. It is a futile fight.

So, if fighting the limbic system is a hopeless endeavor, what can we do? Answer: we learn how to manage or surf the wave, rather than fight it. In essence, we learn how to give up the fight with the limbic system by surfing the waves, rather than getting beat up by them. Therapeutic experience shows that those who learn how to “surf,” rather than valiantly fighting sexual surges, will experience much more success.

An Alternative to Fighting: The 2-Minute Sequence

An effective alternative to fighting addictive surges is to learn how to “surf” or manage them. This 2-minute alternative (sometimes called a “surfing sequence”) has 4 steps: Move, Recite, Pray, and Soothe. Each of these steps strategically targets different dimensions of a compulsive surge.

#1 Move — within 3 seconds

The purpose of movement is twofold: (1) our brain goes where our body goes, so get the body and brain moving away from the temptation or triggering situation; (2) initiate an activity before our limbic system has a chance to respond. In other words, we want to trick ourselves into doing something before our emotional reaction begins to pull us toward the stimulating activity. Why three seconds? There is nothing sacred about 3 seconds. Ultimately, however, we want to move immediately — to avoid a fight with the limbic system. The second we feel a wave beginning to surge, an inappropriate thought beginning to nest, or an unwanted feeling beginning to gnaw at us . . . move! The important thing is to initiate “the sequence” before the wave is ready to crush us.

#2 Recite — a Future Picture Statement (or other memorized, inspirational passage)

There are 2 potent purposes of this step: (1) to kick-start or activate our prefrontal cortex; and (2) to remind us what we truly value in life. To prevent a prefrontal hijack, the recitation of a Future Picture Statement (or a favorite memorized passage) activates our prefrontal functioning, and simultaneously reminds us what we really value in life. It reminds us there are things that matter much more in our life than the moment of stimulation. It also helps overcome the one-man tug-of-war by activating prefrontal pull-back. Additionally, the more we recite the goals in the Future Picture Statement (or a memorized inspirational passage), the more we program our brain to follow those patterns of behavior.

#3 Pray — specifically for what you need to succeed

The purpose of this step is to invite the help of the “Creator of Worlds Without Number.” Jesus Christ created worlds without number, under the direction of His Father. Having the knowledge to create worlds without number, coupled with the fact that he not only bore our sins, but experienced our deepest feelings, places Him in a very unique position to help us with our challenges. Does He understand addictions? Does He have insights about overcoming compulsions? I believe so. Step three is calculated to invite His help. I believe we will have more success with Him, than we ever will have without Him. I also believe we can more effectively access His help if our petitions are sincere and specific. I believe general prayers convey general answers; specific prayers convey specific answers.

What can we specifically pray for? Whatever we feel like we need (to succeed) in that moment. An example: “Heavenly Father, a part of me wants to give into something I know is not appropriate, and there is another part of me that wants to do what is right. Could you help me with an extra surge of strength? Could you bless me with a thought that would help me get out of this tug-of-war I’m in? Could you have someone call or text me?” I’ve worked with clients whose faith in God has been crushed and defeated, completely hopeless of any improvement. By using step #3 on a consistent basis, many clients have come to know how real and responsive He is. Give Him a chance. Be specific in your petitions. Don’t do this recovery work by yourself.

#4 Soothe — the limbic alarm

There are at least 3 things that activate limbic alarms:

A biological surge.
Unwanted feelings like boredom, loneliness, anger, stress, offenses, frustration, depression, anxiety, physical pain, humiliation, discouragement. Although these emotions are part of our mortal experience, they can activate the limbic alarm system. When the alarm goes off, it innocently and instinctually sends you to whatever is at the top of your “pleasure list.” Remember, the limbic priority is to avoid pain by seeking pleasure. If a memory of masturbation or a peek at pornography is at the top of your pleasure list, you can almost guarantee that just around the corner, you will have an addictive surge.
Another way the limbic alarm is activated is by letting adversarial thoughts nest too long. Those invisible satanic “minions” will plant thoughts into your head like: “You have already slipped once, another time won’t make any difference;” or “you have been doing so well, you deserve a reward;” or “go ahead, nobody needs to know.” It is a guarantee that these thoughts will hit you at your weakest moment. Don’t let them nest.

It is important to calm the alarm system. If you don’t, the annoying “addictive dog” will chase you around the house and down the street all day long. It is important to remember that the limbic part of your brain does not think; it functions by means of instincts, feelings, and emotions. Consequently, “talking to it” or “talking it down” isn’t very effective. What usually works best is to metaphorically “put a smile” on the limbic part of our brain. Giving the limbic system a “happy feel” is much more effective than a “convincing conversation.”

The following is a list of ideas clients have found effective in soothing the limbic alarm. Remember this entire sequence should only take 2 minutes. At this point in the process, we may only have about 30 seconds left.

Listen to your favorite, soothing, uplifting song for 30 seconds
Listen to 30 seconds of a favorite, clean comedian
Text or talk to someone
Drink some water
Eat some food
Close your eyes and mentally go to your “peaceful” or “happy” place
Play a game you know you will win
Read an inspirational thought — or an uplifting idea from your patriarchal blessing

Finding something quick, effective, and efficient that works for you is a personal process. But typically, anything that helps you feel at ease, happy, and content will work.

Putting It Into Practice

Statistically, this 2-minute sequence will work about 90 percent of the time if you: (1) start the sequence within 3 seconds of first noticing a trigger; and (2) use all 4 steps. See if you can have a success or two with the sequence this week. Rather than having a meltdown the next time you feel an addictive surge, just say to yourself, “Here’s another opportunity to try the sequence and see if it works. Let’s see if it’s really easier than fighting.” Move, Recite, Pray, and Soothe. Most of my clients have found this 2-minute process is much easier and less painful than fighting, and a lot more enjoyable than failing. This constitutes what we call an “in-the-moment” management skill. In describing this 2-minute sequence, we often use 2 synonyms: surf and manage.

Knowing how strong and pervasive the limbic system is, managing sexual surges is a more effective option than engaging in a futile limbic fight. Learning how to surf is much more enjoyable than taking a wave in the face every 20 seconds, all day and all night. Quickly getting out of the limbic boxing ring is a more effective management strategy than clenching fists, hunkering down, and white-knuckling compulsive surges. For many clients this sequence, used over and over again, becomes automated and starts itself without much thought — like putting your right foot on a brake pedal when you see a red light.

I have found this “automation” to be most effectively facilitated as we encourage clients to practice this 4–5 times each day. If you’d like help putting this into practice, our clinicians offer sexual compulsion recovery treatment in person at our Pleasant Grove, Utah clinic and by telehealth across Utah, Arizona, and Idaho.

The 2-Minute Surf Sequence